Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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