evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
