I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I believe in your delicious
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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