I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
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How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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