There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
