hotel room ftw
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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