There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
