You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
