I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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