if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
