Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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