he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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