chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize