I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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