Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
