i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
