I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
