What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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