the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The power of my boobs compel you
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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