I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
