btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
