how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He better not be in your backpack
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
