Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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