Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
