i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
