I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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