We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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