I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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