if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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