I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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