I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
