i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
