You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
