We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Someone came in the potted fern
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
