who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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