I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize