You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
