like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
