from now on my penis is your penis
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
