At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
