69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize