I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Someone came in the potted fern
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have fence marks all over my body
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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