Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
