if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
