So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
