i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Are we still banned from the library?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
