just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
