I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We need a shit load of segways right now
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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