i just made my gag reflex go away.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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