neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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