lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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