Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
