I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
