Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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