Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
