dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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