I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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