Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
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Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
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Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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