Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
