We're facebook friends in real life
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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